Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
