so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
