so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You took a bar mat shot.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
