I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
