This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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