so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
