Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
