Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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