i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
