I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Houston, we have a squirter
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
