I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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