Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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