i barfeds in our rink
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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