Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
