Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
