I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
