Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
