And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
