New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
