tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
