So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
