Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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