tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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