I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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