Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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