someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I look better un-naked...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
