It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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