I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
