i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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