honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
