Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Can I color on your dick again?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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