I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
