We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
