on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
my liver is dry heaving
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
