At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I cut my penus on the lid.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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