The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
