yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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