My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He passed out mid-signature
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
