never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
