I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize