If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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