I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
