Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
