she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
