New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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