Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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