I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
