i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
