all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
