You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
