I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
