This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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