Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize