i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
