i don't like sucking hair
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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