That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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