i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
