I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
