I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
