Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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