A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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